喵咪社区

Expert tips on how to be an effective caregiver while maintaining your own well-being.

We love Mom and Dad, but caring for aging parents isn鈥檛 always easy. Feelings of self-doubt and guilt are normal, the shift in power dynamics can be confusing, and you may feel tugged in a million directions as you try to also find time for your own children, your spouse, and yourself.

But this isn鈥檛 a journey you have to take alone. Think about other challenges or opportunities you faced in life or in work 鈥� you likely asked people for advice and read books, and it may have taken some time to feel comfortable in your new role. Becoming a caretaker for your parents can be a similar experience. It鈥檚 ok to admit you don鈥檛 have all the answers and that you need help.

Prioritize respite care.

You can鈥檛 provide adequate care for someone else if you鈥檙e personally falling apart. Self-care isn鈥檛 selfish 鈥� it鈥檚 necessary.

鈥淭he word respite means to take a break,鈥� says Adria Navarro, PhD, LCSW, a gerontologist and social worker at , part of 喵咪社区. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e balancing a lot of different responsibilities and the plates are spinning.鈥�

But if this goes on too long, a plate will eventually fall and shatter. 鈥淵ou need to schedule time to stop one of those plates and take care of your own needs.鈥�

Dr. Navarro says asking family members for help can be a good first step, especially if your parent is living with you. 鈥淧erhaps every Friday afternoon, your brother takes Dad for a long walk, which gives you time for your own health appointments or activities you enjoy.鈥�

The 喵咪社区-VHH Community Resource Center for Aging, where Dr. Navarro serves as program manager, can also provide respite.

The center can connect you with day programs for your parents, with activities like art, music and fitness classes, volunteer opportunities and museum tours. They can help with finding companions or health aides, or short-term stays in facilities when you鈥檙e traveling.

The Caregiver鈥檚 Night Off also provides an evening of respite as well as activities for aging parents. 鈥淧eople can feel isolated when they鈥檙e caregiving,鈥� says Dr. Navarro. 鈥淭his monthly caregiver鈥檚 event gets you together with others in the same situation and may help you feel less alone.鈥�

Navigating next steps.

Eventually, your parent may require more assistance than you are capable of providing on your own. The Community Resource Center for Aging has care counselors who can help you navigate those next steps.

鈥淲e are very person-centered,鈥� Dr. Navarro emphasizes. 鈥淓verybody鈥檚 situation is unique and it’s important to discuss all options before jumping to solutions.鈥�

She says conversations focus on what care solutions the family has already tried, and on the aging parent鈥檚 desires.

鈥淪omeone who has been in their home for 50 years may cherish it and not want to leave it,鈥� Dr. Navarro says. 鈥淚n-home help may be the best solution for a while.鈥�

If the time has come to consider assisted living or a nursing facility, care counselors have already vetted the best options and can help you decide the appropriate fit.

Dr. Navarro says an aging parent may be more willing to accept in-home care or a move to a retirement community when the suggestion comes from a licensed professional rather than their adult children. 鈥淪ometimes you need some outside support to move the needle and make changes happen.

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